Learn to love you
EXCERPT: THE LIFE OF A HATER
I resonate with this quote from Chae’s Eat Suite blog:
"I used to be a hater. I'm serious, I really was. I couldn't be happy for anyone, I had the hardest time dishing out compliments, and I was constantly talking badly about people for no good reason. Good people. People doing great things in their lives for themselves and for others. People who were happy. People who were in love. People who loved their life. I hated on them all. I found any annoying little habit, nuance, physical imperfection, or deviation from the norm about any awesome person and amplified it in my mind times a gazillion to make them appear a lot less cool. Why? Because I was envious. Because my life lacked self-love and both the understanding and appreciation of the entire concept of self-love." - The Life of a Hater
CONFESSION: I, TOO, USED TO BE A HATER.
Looking back on my life, I realize that I’ve always been slightly jealous of my fellow peers who seemed to have it all together. You know, the girls who were poppin - eyebrows always on fleek, hair “laid for the gods,” and Instagram likes always on 10… From the standpoint of a male (in my opinion) those who always rocked the latest gear, had the nice cars, the drive, the ambition, and the looks to match it. It seemed like everyone on social media was oh-so-perfect. And here I am, comparing myself to them without even giving my own self credit.
Yes, me, Takira Shanice Coleman, I AM DOPE!
It took me so much time to realize how much I was actually sleeping on myself. I may not be the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen. I may not dress like your favorite tumblr girl, butttt...I bet you top dollar that I am one of the most genuine people that you will ever meet AND I can give you interesting perspectives on topics you have probably never thought about. What I’m here to say is, don’t be jealous of others.
FIND YOUR OWN SHINE & EMBRACE YOU.
If you’d describe yourself as someone lacking in the confidence department, the following list is for you. Complete a task or two on the list below in order to unlock your inner boss:
Take a good look in the mirror & learn to love what you see. For me this step actually took quite a while. It took me years to learn how to embrace my own natural beauty, at least in the way that God intended it to be. I’m not knocking anyone who wears makeup, weaves, or chooses to celebrate themselves in other ways. [That’s silly - I’m not criticizing you. I do it, too.] What I’m saying is, embrace what God gave you the way it was given to you. Wear your natural hair for a little bit. Let the sun shine on your beautiful skin without having to work through a layer of foundation. If you needed any extra help to draw attention to your features, it would’ve been provided to you from the jump. Again, I’m not criticizing anyone who chooses to switch up their look from time to time. I just want you to take pride in your uninhibited beauty: au-naturale.
Make a list of things you love about yourself. The items on your list should be every single detail that captures the true essence of you. Do you think that your big forehead is you? Put that on there! Do you think it makes you interesting that you can speak 4 languages? That too! Whatever makes you - you, the good (and the bad), add it to your list! These are the pieces of the puzzle that God designed and designated for you. Own it! He made no mistakes. [Side Note: Get creative with it -- make a board on Pinterest, write on your mirror, take high-def self-portraits, put sticky notes on your wall.] Get all up in your own face and tell you how great you are! Prove to yourself that you are FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE.
Take note of your positive vibes & share them with the world. When’s the last time that you actually sat down to think about all of the things you are grateful for? I make it a habit to do it everyday! Personally speaking, I have struggled with depression and anxiety for quite some time but one thing that’s really been keeping me on my feet is this “Inspiration” journal that I bought from Michael’s recently. The journal is divided by months of the year.
A snapshot of my thoughts from August:
My journal prompts me to add up everything that made me happy throughout the month. That way, I am challenged to increase that number as time goes by. Talk about having countless reasons to smile.
Each month has the following prompts for you to respond to on your own:
10 things I learned this month
10 things I’m grateful for
Reasons to be happy
Reasons to be compassionate - etc, etc.
Purchase your own inspiration journal here.
No matter what stage you are in of your journey to finding confidence and practicing self love, I want to remind you that the change starts with you. Every day you wake up and decide whether you’re going to be happy or not. You decide whether you are going to spread hate or love. You decide whether you are going to put your best foot forward, accept your shortcomings, and move on.
